The Master Checklist: What To Do When You Get Engaged

Congrats, you’re engaged! This is one of the most exciting times in your life, but it can also brings countless decisions – many of which can feel overwhelming at first. Before you dive into the detailed planning, there are some foundational steps you should take to ensure you and your partner are on the same page. This master checklist will help you navigate the early stages of wedding planning with confidence. If you want an overview timeline of what to book and when, scroll to the end of the article!

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1. Celebrate the Moment

Before anything else, take time to celebrate your engagement. Whether it’s a quiet evening together, a small party with close friends, or a surprise announcement to your families, make sure you savor this special moment.

2. Have the Big Conversations

Before diving into the details of wedding planning, it’s essential to have some significant conversations with your partner. These discussions will ensure that both of you are on the same page regarding the key aspects of your wedding. Here are some important topics to cover:

• Values and Traditions: Are there any cultural or family traditions that are important to incorporate into your wedding? For example, one of you might envision a traditional religious ceremony, while the other prefers a modern, secular event. Discussing how to blend or honor each of your backgrounds is essential to creating a day that’s meaningful for both of you.
  
• Financial Expectations: Talk openly about your financial situation and how you plan to manage wedding expenses. Will you both contribute equally, or will one person take on more of the financial responsibility? Discuss whether you expect any family contributions and how those might influence your decisions. If you’re not sure of where you might need to set your budget, use Tulle’s budget projection tool to estimate the cost of your wedding by location and guest count.
  
• Marriage Priorities: Consider your priorities as a couple beyond just the wedding day. For instance, if buying a home shortly after the wedding is a priority, you may opt for a more modest wedding to save funds. Aligning on your long-term goals will help you make decisions that are right for both of you.
  
• Location Preferences: The location of your wedding is one of the most important decisions you’ll make, and it can significantly shape the event. Here are some questions to discuss:
  • Do you want a hometown wedding, or are you considering a destination wedding in a special place?
  • How far are you willing to ask your guests to travel? If many of your guests are from out of town, would you prefer to host the wedding in a location that’s convenient for them?
  • Would you rather have the wedding where you currently live, or would you like to travel to a location that’s meaningful to both of you?
    
• Non-Negotiables: Identify the elements of your wedding that are most important to you. If one of you is set on a particular location or venue, while the other cares more about the guest list or catering, it’s essential to discuss these priorities openly. This will help you make informed decisions and avoid potential conflicts as you move forward with planning.

3. Discuss Wedding Vision and Style

Once you’ve had the big conversations, it’s time to get into the details of what your dream wedding looks like:

• Wedding Size: How big or small do you want your wedding to be? A large wedding might be more festive, but it can also mean higher costs and more planning. On the other hand, an intimate wedding could allow for a more personal and relaxed atmosphere.
  
• Theme and Atmosphere: What kind of vibe do you want for your wedding? Are you thinking of a formal, black-tie event, or do you prefer something more casual, like a beach wedding? It’s important to be on the same page about the overall feel of the day.
  
• Location Preferences: Where do you envision getting married? This decision can set the tone for the entire wedding. For example, a destination wedding might sound romantic, but consider whether your key guests will be able to attend, and how much travel you’re comfortable asking them to undertake.

The potential costs associated with your vision might influence what you want – use Tulle to play around with potential locations, guest, counts, and to understand the cost differences between a minimalist wedding and a luxury wedding!

4. Set Clear Goals and Expectations

Before getting into the weeds of planning, establish clear goals for your wedding:

• Guest Experience: How much emphasis do you want to place on the guest experience? For instance, do you want to provide luxury accommodations and personalized favors, or are you more focused on creating a laid-back, fun atmosphere?
  
• Personal Experience: What do you want to remember most about your wedding day? If having a stress-free day is a top priority, you might consider hiring a wedding planner to handle the details.
  
• Budget Boundaries: Be clear about your budget boundaries. Decide on a number you’re comfortable spending and one that you absolutely won’t go over. Also, identify areas where you’re willing to cut back if necessary, such as opting for a DJ instead of a live band or choosing a simpler menu.

5. Set a Realistic Timeline

Consider your timeline carefully before diving into the detailed planning:

• Engagement Length: Decide how long you want to be engaged. A longer engagement might allow for more savings and time to plan, while a shorter engagement could mean more intense planning but sooner celebrations.
  
• Season and Date: Think about the time of year you want to get married. Certain seasons may be more expensive or have limited vendor availability. If you’re flexible with your date, you might find more affordable options during off-peak times.

6. Start Researching Early

Once you’ve aligned on the big decisions, start your research:

• Venues: Begin researching venues that match your agreed-upon location and size. Some venues book out over a year in advance, so start early. Consider visiting a few venues to get a feel for what you like.
  
• Vendors: Look into key vendors like photographers, caterers, and florists. Read reviews, compare pricing, and even meet with a few to ensure they understand your vision. Booking early can also help you lock in prices before they increase.

As you begin getting quotes, add them to Tulle to start comparing costs right away. Trying to compare the pros and cons across 3+ vendors can quickly become overwhelming, but Tulle lets you visually compare vendor quotes and their costs!

7. Stay Organized and Flexible

With the groundwork laid, you’re ready to begin detailed planning. Once you get to this stage, keep the tips below in mind and check out our full wedding planning timeline for more details:

• Use Planning Tools: Utilize wedding planning tools and apps to keep track of tasks, budgets, and timelines. Tulle is a better way to manage your budget by offering an alternative to complex spreadsheets. We built out all the wedding budget categories to consider as well as pre-loaded formulas to easily add up and analyze your total wedding cost. Sign up or log in here!
  
• Be Open to Changes: Wedding planning rarely goes exactly as expected. Stay flexible and open to changes. If something doesn’t work out as planned, focus on the big picture and remember that the day is ultimately about celebrating your love.
  
• Enjoy the Journey: Remember to enjoy the process. Take time to appreciate this unique period in your relationship and make sure to celebrate small milestones along the way.

By following this master checklist, you’ll be well-prepared to start your wedding planning journey. Here’s a look at some of the key details you’ll be tackling, and some suggested times to book them, below:

Happy planning!

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